


Probably a Mistake

by hajime_kin109



Category: Original Work
Genre: Gen, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-13
Updated: 2021-02-13
Packaged: 2021-03-12 21:54:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 513
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29391555
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hajime_kin109/pseuds/hajime_kin109
Summary: This is just a pure vent fic. Sorry for possible shitty grammar/spelling.





	Probably a Mistake

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry again if you were expecting actual good writing. This is just shitty rambling about useless feelings. Sorry.

You look at your arms, and realize how pale you are. Your skin is near translucent, making your veins kind of visible. You imagine how easy it would be to grab a razor, or knife, or any sharp object and stab it into your veins. How would it feel? Would you feel the burning pain in your arm as your life essence slowly strays out of your body? Or would you feel numb to everything, and die as a useless nothing? You would die useless either way.

Those pale, pale, arms of yours expose delicate strings, all too easy to cut. But you are fine. Doing it is risky anyways, and not worth the trouble if you're caught. Maybe your thighs would be a good place. No, what if you go to a pool or wear anything exposing your thighs? Everything is too risky. But, maybe one day you can let go. Maybe one day, you decide 'fuck it, I have nothing left to lose', and finally end this seemingly never ending pitfall you've fallen into. Oh man, what a pitfall you've fallen into. 

It seems like everyday, the same thing happens over and over and over and over and over again. Wake up, go to school, do homework, free time, sleep. The only thing that is really saving you right now is what you do in your free time. Going on the internet, it is the only place you feel truly safe. The place where anything could be a trap, or anyone could do harm to you. What irony. It has gotten to the point that you can't imagine a day going by without going on the internet, and watching your favorite creators. Creators who are more harworking than you ever will be.   
You piece of fat fucking shit you can't do anything right and you will die in a ditch at 25 because of your bullshit. Would that be so bad? I mean, you are already hopeless. You will probably never make it to 25, anyways. You won't let yourself make others suffer around you that long. It'd be best if you're gone, never againtaking your parent's money and your friend's precious time. Why do they even hang out with you in the first place? Oh right, you are all fucked up. Except you aren't, because you are fine. You are fine and happy and perfect in everyway. 

A ton of people have it so much worse than you. You have a happy family, supportive friends, and good grades. So why is this happening? A feeling of anxiousness-. No, never anxiousness. Being anxious implies that you aren't fine, and you are, so stop being an attention whore. A feeling of NERVOUSNESS always creeping up your spine, everywhere you go. Slowly losing motivation to do your schoolwork and shower, you disgusting pig.   
But its fine! You are absolutely fine. Atleast, that's what you think while staring down at pale, pale arms. Looking at them while daydreaming about the day you finally leave this shithole.  
This is fine, and it will always be.

**Author's Note:**

> Does anyone relate to the whole 'anxiousness' thing? Like, you can never describe a feeling with the word 'anxious' or 'depressing', because then you feel like an attention whore? Or am I just being weird?
> 
> Sorry again for the shit writing.


End file.
